Jan 21 2009
Autism: What are you thinking about?
If you were to ask me mid thought what I was thinking about, I would with out a doubt tell you.
If you asked me to tell me why I was thinking that, it would entail a trail of thought that would most likely confuse you.
Why? Well because I have autism, my thoughts rarely follow a theme or subject. My life experiences often direct my train of thought and perhaps interrupt what a normal person would see as a train of thought.
Often times my thought, follow a theme not seen as follow able or usual. I can start with a topic that leads to a simple picture and jump to a fantasy, and still hold relation to one another.
Does this make me crazy? Nope.
I am just autistic; I can only go where my mind leads me, even if it seems to the normal person’s perspective as abnormal.
So what if looking at a sign along the road reminded me of a family member, and that lead to the line of work the are in, leading to a childhood memory of simple growth, to their kid that just got into trouble for spilling milk, and now I am stuck on that grown up kids choice of work, construction. Leading to yet another train of thought.
If you were to ask me for my thinking, I would give you a blow by blow account of where I was at and end with where I started and perhaps it would lead to nothing you could understand, or perhaps you would try to see my perceptions and see some of my reality but lose track of how I got there and my thought process.
I have learned that I am different, that the way I think and process things is definitely speculative, and that perhaps my autism is to blame for my ability to associate certain subjects to one another abnormally. However, I am always just me.
This aspect of my thinking is not something I can help or even desire to do so, there are certain things that just make sense, and this is one of the few that I feel uncompelled to explain.
