Dec 30 2008
Autism, not just a diagnosis.
Autism is not just a dianosis, it is a life long journey with its own unique twists and turns. Each one of us with autism will follow our own path and through our own unique interests and desires we will find a life, albeit different. My own future was told to be one of institutions with a reality of no real future defined other than that of psychiatric facilities, medications, and institutionalization.
I live medication free, in a real home, with a real life partner. I find it nearly impossible to control my verbal rants, but manage to always be heard.
When I was 14 I was still in the midst of institutions, medications, and a bleak outlook from those who would attempt to predict my future. But one thing is clear about autism, it is unpredictable, and what comes of tomorrow can seem to be out of nowhere sometimes, but today’s reality are all we really have to prepare for an uncertain tomorrow.
Many times as a child I was described as beyond my years; however, this was only after I began to write and within these writings were my maturity. Much of the time my childlike ways and inability to process information quickly in an adult fashion still leave me to the autistic reality of immature display of self. At 31, I may only come off as a 16 year old and sometimes younger. But much of my wisdom only shows when I can write what I think, instead of search for words to describe the inner me. When left to reaction, my initial displays are immature because that is the physical outlet of my brain. The literal outlet shows more of the true me and lends me a line of access to the desired understanding of those who would misunderstand my youthful ways and interpret a much younger me.
I hope some of this had made sense. I usually have more time to critique it; however, today is one of business and rush.
Please don’t accept that all there is today will be all there is tomorrow. If those who predicted my future had enacted their plans of “therapy” I would still be nothing more than I was then.
If we accept that we have done our best, then we limit ourselves to that level of achievement.
If you accept that disability is what it is, than that is what it will always be.
If you look into the face of autism and accept today as a sign of tomorrow, you limit that person looking back at you to your minimal understanding of who and what individualism is and dwarf their potential.
Autism is not a list of life, it is a list of potential complications of life.
I have autism, it does not have me.
