Jul 10 2008
Disipline: What not to do.
How not to discipline a child with autism.
One of the most difficult things about having a child with autism is teaching them limits and giving them appropriate consequences for their actions.
Many times your intervention will cause a melt down or bring on behavioral problems.
It is important to know what you should not do.
Do not lose your cool. You must model the behavior you wish your child to use when involved in stressful situations. Even if you lose your temper, it is important to remain in control of your actions.
Do not give up. Consistency is extremely important for children to experience. If the consequence is to go to his room when a certain behavior or action is done, do not relent because company is over and a melt down is probable.
Never engage in physical punishments. First of all, physical punishment is usually enacted by adults when they lose their cool and are thus more likely to over do it under those circumstances. Lastly, you model violent behavior that your child is likely to use on others when they are upset: thus, modeling the behavior you showed them.
Never put them down with your words. Attack nothing. Address the behavior and support the child. You love them and that should always be apparent, especially when you are disciplining.
When all else fails, try something different. Remember that you are dealing with a child who does not see it the way most children do. They cannot see it the way you do. The way they perceive the situation is unique and thus your response may have to be equally unique if not inventive.
Remember not to over do it. During a melt down, nothing is gained. You will have to come back to it at a later time and address the discipline at that time. This is where consistency comes into play. If the situation led to a melt down, it does not mean that you withhold the disciplinary action appropriate for the situation.
Refrain from adjusting severity with in your disciplines. Do not take a way two things for one behavior even if the behavior was longer or more severe than usual. If adjustments must be made then make them on a from now on basis.
Autism is a challenge for all of those involved. Moreover, as a person with autism I can personally say that I benefited from an environment that was stable and supportive. There were always consequences for my actions; however, when these consequences were consistent and approached as a positive measure to prevent negative behavior, I was able to gain better control over my negative behaviors.
On the other hand, when bad behaviors were approached with negativity, anger, physical punishment, and lack of enforcement, I could not make the important connection between action and reaction that is necessary for children of all ages to grasp before they can consistently refrain from bad behaviors.
Your welcome. Sometimes what we think is best to do or do out of frustration can be the most damning. If we realize what these things are ahead of time, when we are engaged in them we will be more likely to change things before they get out of hand.
Always act with love, disipline out of love, and teach with love to love.
Actions taken in anger usually result in regret. Actions taken in love, usually result in progess.