May 09 2008
It’s very nice to meet you.
I was in my mother’s bedroom upstairs. My older sister was there with me. She was trying to play with me some role-playing game, a game she liked to call, “It’s nice to meet you.”
I think she was trying to reach out to me. Wanted me to participate and I couldn’t. She was very frustrated with my complete disinterest.
In an effort to elicit my participation, she tried to get me to shake her hand. When my hand and arm remained continuously limp, her frustration increased.
She grabbed my hand with both of hers and began to yell, “It’s nice to meet you!” repeatedly as she vigorously shook my arm up and down, effectively pulling it from its socket.
My siblings often found my lack of interest frustrating. My mother found their treatment of me disturbing. Not knowing what to do in this sort of situation, her reaction was often anger.
Therefore, when I came to her with tears in my eyes, unable to move my limp arm, she asked my sisters what had happened to me. At this time I still did not have enough language to adequately relay the entire situation and I was upset which made intelligible communication nearly impossible.
I was, however, able to relay that it was Sissy. She told my mom that she was, “Just shaking her hand.” My mother became angry, yelling at her and scaring me.
A trip to the emergency room, some sedation, and my arm was fixed.
My mothers reaction to this situation, and many others like them, effectively separated me further from my three other sisters. They became less interested in playing with me because they were afraid that something would happen and they would get into trouble. It also allowed animosity to grow towards me.
Unable to make an emotional connection with any member of my family further delayed my development.
Siblings should never be excluded from the process of dealing with any disabled child. Teaching them how to interact appropriately with them is a key component to all children gaining a healthy understanding of relationships.
Setting aside daily play times can help nurture this relationship. In addition, the sibling(s) can gain insight and understanding as to the nature of the illness, which is necessary for them to adjust.
In my adult life, I have few conversations with any member of my family. My emotional ties to them have never really blossomed. I prefer the closeness of the relationships I have with the few people I surround myself today. I have never made an emotional connection with any member of my immediate family.
My teenage years were filled with animosity from my sisters and this contributed to my being mostly out of the home since I was eleven. The few times I was home, it was often made clear to me that I was not part of the family and unwanted in the household. Which lead to me running away and being placed in other institutions.
This fact being to my benefit; however, I regret not having normal family bonds.
